Voice Test

[lifeban]

[look i am absolute dogshit at coming up with prompts for these and when i do we end up doing something totally different, SO

take your pick

and/or just ask for ridiculous texting

or propose something]

Comments

[lifeban]

...

[he has to ask:]

Did they cry?

[abductive_reasoning]

[...Just gonna stare blandly at Dan Heng.

Yeah. Yeah Pom Pom definitely cried.]

[lifeban]

[yeah...

yeah.]

Let's spare them more tears for the evening.

[abductive_reasoning]

That's troublesome. I am meant to be at home right now.

[Kind of idly digging at his pockets and--

Dammit, yep, that's Kaveh's key.

He is going to be yelled at for two hours straight. He can feel it.]

[lifeban]

Since Teyvat doesn't exactly have a port-- at least, not for spacecraft... We'll need to be more careful about landing. I can set you up with a place to sleep, at least, and we'll see what we can do tomorrow.

[abductive_reasoning]

For a vehicle of this size, the desert would be fine--

[Sigh. No, he can't be certain of that. Dammit. Ugh. What could--

...wait a minute.]

...No, actually, there might be a simpler way...

[lifeban]

[thinking about the absolute despair that pom pom would go through if someone brought SANDY SHOES into the express,]

What are you thinking?

[abductive_reasoning]

[In this, Alhaitham would feel a true and deep kinship with Pom Pom.

But he's rummaging a bit until he finds--the invitation the Traveler gave him to their teapot realm.]

This may...get me somewhere with boundless space, and a great deal closer. An Adepti's realm.

[Do what now?]

[lifeban]

[at least he didn't SAY teapot.

that. is a slip of paper.

that is a slip of paper and that's a fun level of familiar words translated differently, thanks hoyoverse.

realm = delve in chinese language version.
adeptus = immortal/celestial

this is FINE.

with a sudden but controlled tension:]

How so?

[abductive_reasoning]

[Waves at mei in the distance.

Alhaitham glances upward. That tension...? That is not the tension of someone seeing something unfamiliar. Interesting. Is this one an adeptus? Reports from Liyuen scholars and durstur indicate you could be speaking to one and you'd never know. Interesting, but not something he'd expected to test himself. He wasn't interested in leaving Sumeru.

This, though...might be an opportunity.]

It is an invitation, isn't it?

[The adepti don't explain their magic, and it's best not to think too hard about the physics involved. Some questions don't have answers.

But also, this is about seeing if this man gets riled up by a bad response.]

[lifeban]

[this man is fishing.

and certainly, he can read the slip of paper. his eyes flick to it again. but this sort of knowledge isn't something he was willing to share with the Nameless, let alone a stranger, however inconvenienced by March 7th.]

If you say so. Does it... do something?

[abductive_reasoning]

Just one thing.

[It had been a pretty simple explanation. Flip open the envelope, press your finger down on Tubby's little stamp, say something to indicate you're on the way--Al-haitham mostly just mutters along the lines of "On my way", no need to complicate this--and the magic takes.

And if this man here happens to be standing too close and gets counted as a second guest, that's not Al-Haitham's problem, is it? Even if he knew exactly how close to be standing for it to count like that, having tested this on Kaveh. It certainly wasn't an act of small, extremely petty revenge, okay? Don't be ridiculous.]

[lifeban]

[he IS NOT MARCH 7TH and DOES NOT DESERVE THIS,

he recognizes what happens, sees the ancient art take hold, but the split second of remembering he isn't supposed to admit it throws him long enough that he doesn't back off in time.]

What-?!

[so how is the teapot decorated,]

[abductive_reasoning]

[So.

It's beachy in here? Tropical sunlight. Big ass mansion right on the beach. An incomprehensible mishmash of decorations strewn about with neither rhyme nor reason. Al-Haitham made an irritated noise because there is SAND. IN HIS SHOES. LUMINE WHY.

But he's turning for the house and the Fat Ass Sparrow in a...in a teapot. What! WHAT?]

Hmm. A miscalculation.

[NO THE FUCK IT WASN'T!!]

Miss Tubby, is the Traveler in? We have a problem.

[WHY IS HE MORE POLITE TO THE FAT-ASS TEAPOT SPARROW?!]

[lifeban]

[baleful. SO baleful. trudging after Alhaitham.

...nodding a greeting to Tubby.]

Pardon the intrusion.

[if he's just cranky and does his best to give literally nothing away maybe this will stop being a thing that is happening,]

[abductive_reasoning]

Do you believe glaring at me will help in some way, or does it just make you feel better?

[A faint huff. Oh, this amuses him? But he turns to Tubby, who doesn't THINK She can send Dan Heng all the way back to...wherever he's from on her own but the Traveler was out with some people who were also weird like him so when they get back, they can sort it.

...Hey, weird, did you feel a chill down your spine? Al-Haitham did, too, and doesn't know why. As though two gremlins who should never meet, have met...]

...Hmm.

[lifeban]

The latter.

[DRYLY. be amused he'll just keep being cranky

except uh

that's a bad sign, yes? that's. hm.]

...What's this Traveler like...?

[abductive_reasoning]

...I believe they've been involved in some form of governmental upheaval in three nations now.

[A pause.] But I haven't heard from Fontaine lately.

[UM. KILL BILL SIRENS????]

[lifeban]

...

That person's record isn't quite so impressive, and yet...

It's best to brace ourselves for them having met.

[abductive_reasoning]

...How bad is this going to be?

[Suddenly, Dan Heng has his entire attention. This is going to be a pain, isn't it? Oh, Archons.]

[lifeban]

Their record isn't that impressive largely because only one in two places they've visited with governments have had significant upheaval involving them. So far.

This is only the fourth place they've been.

[abductive_reasoning]

[Just. Taking a minute to contemplate this. He likes the Traveler. They're no genius but they are unique. And paimon's fun to pick on. But two of them...?]

Miss Tubby, we're leaving now, but tell the Traveler to come straight to me when you see them.

[Right. time to...I don't actually know how characters leave the teapot but I assume Tubby is involved listen he's just going to assume Dan Heng's along for the ride this time. He needs to make sure Lord Kusanali and the General Mahamatra are...Informed.]

[lifeban]

Where to now?

[yeah no he is NOT sticking around in an adeptus realm alone (save for Tubby), thanks. so he's keeping in range of whatever transport nonsense.]

[abductive_reasoning]

Just follow me.

[BOOP! Now we're in Sumeru City. Probably near the Akademiya since there's where Al-Haitham got kidnapped from, which means he's turning and walking downhill. If they're lucky, they beat Kaveh home...

He's a little concerned about it, actually, with how bad today's been.]

[lifeban]

[Sumeru is gorgeous and strange to him. He's been to Teyvat, but he was in Inazuma, which vibes super different! So he's keeping pace with Alhaitham but looking around with clear interest, absorbing the sights as best he can without delaying them.]