But Kaine said-- [He's touching Dan Heng like he's fragile, like he's terrified of breaking him.] He'd not. You wouldn't. You never said. It's all right, Dan Heng, if you were lying. It was the right thing to do.
Kaine loathes you. Because of this, I have seen no point in rubbing our relationship in his face. I am a private type in any case, but I may have kept too quiet on this subject. Not out of shame, but out of a desire not to upset him needlessly.
I love you. I want a future with you, after this. Somewhere we won't be hunted by our pasts. I was not lying.
[But Dan Feng's grip on reality was ever tenuous, compounded by centuries of being subsumed in mara. He's known not to trust himself, because it's still him who would wake up from the dead and feel that despair shot through his veins.]
You're so beautiful. You're like a dream. You sleep like a dead person sometimes. You have a sharp tongue. You are ever so dependable. You are the strongest of us I've ever known.
[He cradles Dan Heng's face in his hands.]
You are the first thing I have wanted for myself. Selfishly. I should have not...
You may not trust your memory. But I remember. I'm the one who started this, between you and I. It is not selfish of you to want someone who actively seduced you.
[All right, this was getting a little unbelievable for a hallucination Dan Feng dreamt up, because he doesn't think he's ever heard Dan Heng say so many things at once that was not related to some sort of factoid or data management system.]
I- when I ate - [Thinking emoji????] - the berries? Was that real?
[He tucks Dan Heng's face into his neck, and his voice breaks, muffled into his hair.]
I do not know. I have gone through these fugue states like the tide. Every time it is a little harder to put reality back together. Tell me something only the two of us know.
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Re: DAY 27 7PM
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Is any of this even real? I think I am between lives. I dreamt that you loved me.
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No.
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I do love you. What is going on?
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You are saying all the right things... you're not like any of the other high elders. Who are you?
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He was right... there is no reason for both of you to bring me along, when you leave this place. No matter how much I would like it.
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Who said that? They're wrong. We chose where to go because we wanted to go somewhere we could be with you.
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Kaine loathes you. Because of this, I have seen no point in rubbing our relationship in his face. I am a private type in any case, but I may have kept too quiet on this subject. Not out of shame, but out of a desire not to upset him needlessly.
I love you. I want a future with you, after this. Somewhere we won't be hunted by our pasts. I was not lying.
Re: DAY 27 7PM
[But Dan Feng's grip on reality was ever tenuous, compounded by centuries of being subsumed in mara. He's known not to trust himself, because it's still him who would wake up from the dead and feel that despair shot through his veins.]
You made me so happy. May I see your horns?
Re: DAY 27 7PM
[nodding, though, letting his cloudhymn bubble away, revealing horns and tail and glowy eyes and the lighter tone in his hair.]
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[He cradles Dan Heng's face in his hands.]
You are the first thing I have wanted for myself. Selfishly. I should have not...
Re: DAY 27 7PM
You may not trust your memory. But I remember. I'm the one who started this, between you and I. It is not selfish of you to want someone who actively seduced you.
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I- when I ate - [Thinking emoji????] - the berries? Was that real?
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It was real.
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I'm not sure... [He finally slides a hand down, to wrap around Dan Heng's waist, tentatively embracing him.] I can't tell what's real or not.
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That's understandable. Is there anything I can do to prove it?
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I do not know. I have gone through these fugue states like the tide. Every time it is a little harder to put reality back together. Tell me something only the two of us know.
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