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[dan heng swallows hard. nods. stops pinning dan feng and instead draws him up into a hug.]

I'm here. I'm sorry.

[It's supposed to help, that's why he asked for it, so why does it make him feel worse to be comforted?

He presses his face into Dan Heng's shoulder, hands winding around his back, breath hitching wet- and then he turns his face and bites down at the crook of his neck, over fabric, as he tries to lean his weight and overbalance Dan Heng.]

[dan heng grunts and firms up his stance. tails are handy for these things. but he's allowing the bite.]

[WHY MUST YOU BE BUILT BROADER

leaning heavily on him though, gnawing on him for a good bit before just slumping against his chest.]

[have you tried being less of a mage,

stroking his hair, gentle.]

Did- did you see. What happened. To me. Were you there.

Only the aftermath.

I saw it happen to another, though.

[He's buried his face in the crook of Dan Heng's neck, hands shaking violently as he signs:]

Someone tried to heal me. And it was. [He turns his face into Dan Heng's skin.] It was wrong. She healed me like how Yaoshi would.

[he can feel dan heng's breath catch when he hears that. holding him tighter.]

I'm so sorry.

[He fumbles with his hands again, cycling through the beginnings of the handsigns for love/lion/hate/general/hurt before giving up.]

He killed me. Had to. Hurt.

[Blade's handsign is immediate, though if it made sense to anyone who wasn't Dan Feng, he's not sure, and he probably does not care.]

My star killed me again. I felt you hold my hand.

[he. honestly gets it instantly, which is upsetting in its own way. his own hand on dan feng's back had subconsciously signed sun for jing yuan. even with jumbled, faint memories, it isn't a hard guess these days.]

I... should have helped. I was seeing things. Hallucinating. So I didn't realize...

[That makes Dan Feng pull back just enough so that he can look at Dan Heng's face, brows furrowed.]

Are you all right?

I am now. It... wasn't pleasant, but it wore off.

[he seems earnest enough, if exhausted.]

Leave the hallucinating to me.

[Dan Feng squirms a little bit so he's sitting on the morgue drawer AND wiping off his bloody throat on Dan Heng's clothes (thanks), bracketing Dan Heng's hips with his knees.

He leans in for what seems to be a kiss before he remembers himself.]

Can I kiss you?

[sighs softly. he'd rather neither of them were hallucinating! but he also very much tolerates the bloodying of his clothes.

he's surprised by the asking, but only momentarily.]

... Yes.

Don't look so surprised. [He stares at his own hands for a moment, before making the same sign Dan Heng did for] Jing Yuan told me I should ask before I do things to people. I do not understand this but it makes him happy.

[He leans in- to kiss Dan Heng chastely, a peck on the lips.] Does asking make you happy?

...It's nice. So yes.

[giving him the teeniest little smile, fond.]

You are both so easy to please..

[He stares, openmouthed, and then averts his eyes from that smile because if he looks at it for more than 0.0004 seconds he will self-immolate and that is a very uncomfortable experience.]

I did not want you to see me like that. Or like this.

[dipping in to kiss his cheek before sitting back enough to track his signs, then sobering slightly.]

I understand. But... I would rather be able to be here for you than not see.

You would really stay, and love me? Even if I put you in this drawer?

I would rather you not put me in the drawer. And I'm not saying I'd forgive absolutely anything. But... I do love you, and have no plans of abandoning you.

[What Do You Mean?? It's a nice drawer. Snug. Fits Dan Feng perfectly. He kicks his feet briefly like a hatchling, inordinately happy. He could stand to die more often if it ended up with reassurances like this.]

I do not hate you... right now. [Best he can do chief.] But I would like to wake up next to you.

[yeah he does not seem surprised by the inability to fully commit to the first bit,]

I would like that too. On the condition you don't crack my horn again.

It was just one time and that was your fault for not dodging.

[But his tail is already curling around him to seek out Dan Heng's...]

I disagree.

[but twining their tails.]

Re: DAY 19 11PM

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Re: DAY 19 11PM

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