MWM Inbox

[lifeban]

—

10:55 am

CODE BY
"This is Dan Heng. Please text rather than calling."

Comments

[lifeban]

I went to look up your plant. Stay where you are. Where are you?

[so yeah library]

[eggshell]

[he sends yet another shitty picture - looks like the bar? it's brightly lit against night, at least.]

[lifeban]

Okay.

[he'll probably fail the willsave soon and arrive but for now he is calling.]

[eggshell]

Xiaoheng.

[that is definitely a 100% 'i want to fold you in half carnally' tone.]

[lifeban]

[what the fuck.

were he not literally dan heng he'd gasp audibly. as it stands...]



Dan Feng.

[eggshell]

I saved some mistletoe for you.

[lifeban]

...

I have a question for you.

[eggshell]

[there is an obnoxious crunching sound, like someone gnawing on hard candy.]

Yes?

[lifeban]

You do realize this is flirting?

[eggshell]

How is it flirting?

[lifeban]

Why the mistletoe?

[eggshell]

Because I want to taste you?

[lifeban]

Flirting.

[eggshell]

Negging?

[lifeban]

No, just direct flirting.

[eggshell]

Why would I flirt with you?

[lifeban]

That's what I want to know.

[eggshell]

[more crunching, like your cat eating plastic at 3 am.]

Did you want me to flirt with you?

[lifeban]

That's irrelevant-

What are you doing?

[eggshell]

[there is a long, vaguely sheepish pause.]

I found some candy?

[lifeban]

[


better than poisonous berries]

Okay. Back to the topic at hand.

[eggshell]

What do you taste like?

[lifeban]

...I don't know how I'm expected to know the answer to that question.

[eggshell]

Exactly. So, in my benevolence, I am offering to find out for you.

[lifeban]

Literally how are you not processing this as flirting?!